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Duchess Of Cambridge Kate Middleton Pregnant: Where Do Royal Babies Come From?

Chris Jackson – WPA Pool/Getty Images

I understand how regular people make babies and all, but what about blue bloods? There has got to be something different right? They can’t just make babies like normal people, can they?

ABC News is reporting the Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton is pregnant and it’s got the whole world England and some of America all excited. But more importantly, it has me asking the question “where on earth royal babies come from?” I know regular babies come from couples pounding away on each others privates until one submits and surrenders her womb to a child. However, this can’t be the case for royals can it?

Royals have got to have some sort of classy system where maybe a room full of hired hands assist Prince William into filling a gold incrusted jar with his royal seed. The jar fills easiest while William observes a footie ball match while counting his pounds. Mean while, a room full of hand selected maidens surround Kate in a room filled with berries and English toffee. Once the royal seed is heated by the arm pits of 13 orphans to the appropriate temperature of 58 degrees Celsius it is then delivered to the room of the dutchess.

Both Kate Middleton and the jar of royal seed are then lowered by silk harnesses into a warm bath of the richest oils and stirred by Jacuzzi jets. While the mixing process continues the maidens then add rubies, sapphires, and diamonds to the water. This process last for 4 hours in which Kate is fed banana pudding to keep her focused and strengthened to achieve conception. That is how royal babies are made, I assume.

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