See the Cast of ‘DOA: Dead or Alive’ Then and Now
Girls. Martial arts. Bikinis. Eric Roberts. It was a recipe for success. The end result however was a hilarious disaster, the likes of which could never be replicated again. ‘DOA: Dead or Alive,’ based on Team Ninja’s and Tecmo’s voluptuous fighter, brought together a mishmash of some of the most beautiful ladies on the planet and forced them into an action flick they had absolutely no business being in. It’s been eight years since we were graced with the unintentional brilliance that was this movie, so let’s take a look at the cast to see what they’re all up to now.
Jaime Pressly, Tina
Then: Best known as being the potentially incestuous sister of Joe Dirt in ‘Joe Dirt,’ Pressly took on the role of American wrestler Tina in ‘DOA.’ She saved the beer for her horses and rode her cowboys with her U.S. pride on her sleeve. Her acting ability remained firmly secured in a briefcase in an abandoned missile silo.
Now: Technically, Pressly exploded after ‘DOA.’ Her role as Joy on ‘My Name is Earl’ made her a household fixture and staple of the modern day redneck humorist. Most recently she’s appeared in dozens of TV shows, including roles on ‘Two and a Half Men’ and ‘I Hate My Teenage Daughter.’
Devon Aoki, Kasumi
Then: A model by trade, Aoki broke onto the scene in ‘2 Fast 2 Furious’ before donning the trademark dress of Kasumi in ‘DOA.’ Though she lacked the necessary training to earn her purple belt in competent acting, she made up for it with her 4th degree black belt in the mystical art of pouty face bikini style.
Now: It’s been a while since Aoki’s acted, but she’s returned to modeling since appearing in ‘Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Undead’ in 2009. Perhaps she’ll show up again in the next ‘Sin City’ film if that ever actually happens.
Holly Valance, Christie Allen
Then: Following the Kylie Minogue blueprint, Valance got her start on Aussie drama ‘Neighbors,’ started a pop star career and then starred in a terrible film adaptation of a video game. She’d be just as forgettable in this as Minogue was in ‘Street Fighter: The Movie’ if it wasn’t for that opening hotel sequence where she fights five dudes in nothing but a towel.
Now: Valance still picks up a role here and there, and you might remember her as the singer Liam Neeson saves in ‘Taken.’
Sarah Carter, Helena Douglas
Then: Carter had been acting for quite a few years on shows like ‘Numb3rs’ and ‘Smallville’ before getting the coveted role of Helena in ‘DOA.’ No one will ever question her rollerblading abilities again.
Now: If you’ve been wondering where Carter’s been since ‘DOA,’ you could have found her on TNT’s ‘Falling Skies.’ That is, if anyone actually watched it.
Natassia Malthe, Ayane
Then: Malthe, a Norwegian, played Ayane, the ninja half-sister of Aoki’s decidedly Japanese Kasumi. She’s basically a backwards Psylocke, which is not in any way a compliment.
Now: You might not remember Malthe from her roles in films like ‘Bloodrayne: Third Reich,’ ‘Assault on Wall Street,’ ‘Vikingdom 3D’ or ‘This Means War.’
Kane Kosugi, Ryu Hayabusa
Then: Ryu Hayabusa is one of the most bad-ass ninjas ever conceived, let alone to star in several different video games. In ‘DOA,’ Kosugi didn’t get to let loose with any of the awesome, and instead was offered all the characterization of a wet blanket.
Now: Kosugi continues to appear in action flicks overseas, with his most recent effort, ‘Ninja: Shadow of a Tear,’ hitting theaters in 2013.
Matthew Marsden, Max
Then: As a partner to Christie, Marsden’s Max was planning on stealing all the money in DOATEC vaults instead of actually fighting anyone. It’s probably a good thing since he’s just a goofy dude who happened to be teamed with a skilled assassin/thief.
Now: His last major was as James Taggart in ‘Atlas Shrugged: Part 1.’ There’s no joke we can make that would be more hilarious or insulting.
Eric Roberts, Donovan
Then: Eric Roberts never met a role he wouldn’t take. As Donovan, Roberts invents a pair of sunglasses that enable him to steal all the moves of every fighter because science reasons. This will somehow help him take over the world. He gets blown up and dies a lonely, yet stylish death.
Now: Roberts pretty much has a movie coming out every week for the rest of eternity. You can see him next in ‘Paranormal Movie, ‘Chicks Dig Gay Guys,’ ‘Zombie Dream’ or ‘A Talking Cat?!’
Kevin Nash, Bass
Then: Kevin Nash, aka “Big Daddy Cool,” aka “Diesel,” aka “Big Sexy,” turned a memorable wrestling career into a slight, but enjoyable acting career. As Bass, Nash played a Hulk Hogan rip-off who thought his daughter Tina and her friends were lesbians.
Now: You might recall Nash as Tarzan, the aging, pill addicted stripper in ‘Magic Mike,’ or as Tom Cruise’s bodyguard in ‘Rock of Ages.’
Brian White, Zack
Then: White appeared in ‘DOA’ as Zack, the over-the-top (read: annoying as hell) combatant who offered some bug-eyed stares at all the scantily clad ladies before being eliminated from the tournament for sucking.
Now: If you don’t remember him as the jock Joseph Gordon Levitt beats up in a high school parking lot in ‘Brick,’ you almost certainly remember him as Det. Garris on ‘The Shield.’ Unfortunately, his last appearance was in the abysmal ‘Hostages,’ which was about as entertaining has ‘DOA’ without having drank any hard liquor.