Dan America Stand-Up Journal 4 (NSFW Language)

Last night I went back to Everydays, tonight I go back to Rocks. Last week the audience outnumbered the comedians and I decided to try out some new stuff and revisit some old stuff then flip out about how upset I am about 2015 being nothing like it was in "Back to the future 2" and blamed it on Crispin Glover. 

I had completely bombed in my first attempt to perform stand-up there, but at the time I was trying to push a live version this:

Like any American Patriot, I did not give up. Primarily because of my history with Rocks, during the year when I lived with Shealita Babay I was at Rocks every first Saturday of the month. Watching Drag Queens perform and stealing drinks with Shealita in the dressing room. My purpose was to make sure that Shealita did not get too out of control.

We failed at this.

In our defense, Drag Queens don't finish their drinks and then they leave them out where Shealita and I can find them.

Perhaps I was not the right man for the job, but nobody noticed. Shealita and I would emerge from the backstage area and plow through the audience, where they expected Shealita to act out. It was part of the show to see her screaming and slapping her way through the crowd. Sometimes to the patio area in the back to smoke cigarettes, but most of the time I were following Shealita on a path of destruction. I carried a cane and barely spoke, I was not their to socialize, if I attempted to I would lose Shealita and have to listen for the shouting that would occur where ever Shealita was. That was where the cane came into play, because I would actually have to hit Shealita with it, in order to get her to stop doing whatever she was doing.

When Shealita took the stage, she had the same audience she had terrorized in the palm of her hand.

In my first performance at Rocks I wanted to be like Shealita, instead I found out how hard it must of been to be Shealita. Lately, I think I have been getting the hang of it, but I have a long way to go. If you don't believe me? Google Shealita Babay.