Dalton’s Top Five Best Ways To Show Your Patriotism This July 4th

The birth of our country is coming and here is a list to help you ensure you celebrate your patriotism to the max!

5: Blow Something Up

It’s an age old tradition and nothing celebrates the independence of your country like blowing a chunk of it up!

4: Accuse Your Neighbor Of Being A Terrorist

Suspecting your neighbor of terrorism is the most patriotic thing you can do. Alert the FBI and have them locked up. Even if they are innocent that’s still one less person we as American have to worry about being a possible terrorist!

3: Rename Something With America Or Freedom

I love America so much I hate when other countries get credit for thing, even if they invert it. French fries are American fries, Gulf of Mexico is gulf of America and Russian roulette is now republican roulette.

2: Drive A Big Truck

Nothing says you love your country like making love to the American roads burning diesel fuel and crushing smaller foreign cars! USA-USA-USA!

1: Eat A bald Eagle

All that delicious lean protein taste like freedom and the advantages of having the symbol of American inside you makes you an American that bleeds red white and blue!