The year 2012 is coming and there is no stopping it. Not even a computer glitch lacking the digits necessary to decipher the year can stop 2012. So lets embrace it and make a list of new year's resolutions. Here is what I resolve to do.

Wear a coon skin hat

It’s a fancy fashion statement and it tells all the raccoons in the neighborhood to stay out of my trash or I will wear you as a hat!

Stop playing with my Twitter in public

Grow a beard

Not this patchy prepubescent thing I have now. I look like I got sweaty doing squat thrust and some one through a hand full of pubes at my face

Invent a water-proof toaster

Sometimes when I’m in the shower I feel like enjoying a nice slice of toast

Stop saying “you go girl” to myself

Learn each interns name

What? We don’t have interns? Then who the hell I have I been yelling at all these weeks?

Stop kissing each of my biceps good night

Eat less people

I currently don’t eat any people so this one should be easy

Lose weight

In my fingers only…they are fat and prevent me from using an iPhone properly

Sport the sweater vest

I need to up my look and be a bit classier, so a sweater vest just might do the trick