Dalton’s New Year’s Resolutions For The Year 2012
The year 2012 is coming and there is no stopping it. Not even a computer glitch lacking the digits necessary to decipher the year can stop 2012. So lets embrace it and make a list of new year’s resolutions. Here is what I resolve to do.
Wear a coon skin hat
It’s a fancy fashion statement and it tells all the raccoons in the neighborhood to stay out of my trash or I will wear you as a hat!
Stop playing with my Twitter in public
Grow a beard
Not this patchy prepubescent thing I have now. I look like I got sweaty doing squat thrust and some one through a hand full of pubes at my face
Invent a water-proof toaster
Sometimes when I’m in the shower I feel like enjoying a nice slice of toast
Stop saying “you go girl” to myself
Learn each interns name
What? We don’t have interns? Then who the hell I have I been yelling at all these weeks?
Stop kissing each of my biceps good night
Eat less people
I currently don’t eat any people so this one should be easy
In my fingers only…they are fat and prevent me from using an iPhone properly
Sport the sweater vest
I need to up my look and be a bit classier, so a sweater vest just might do the trick