Dalton’s New Year’s Resolutions For The Year 2012
The year 2012 is coming and there is no stopping it. Not even a computer glitch lacking the digits necessary to decipher the year can stop 2012. So lets embrace it and make a list of new year's resolutions. Here is what I resolve to do.
Wear a coon skin hat
It’s a fancy fashion statement and it tells all the raccoons in the neighborhood to stay out of my trash or I will wear you as a hat!
Stop playing with my Twitter in public
Grow a beard
Not this patchy prepubescent thing I have now. I look like I got sweaty doing squat thrust and some one through a hand full of pubes at my face
Invent a water-proof toaster
Sometimes when I’m in the shower I feel like enjoying a nice slice of toast
Stop saying “you go girl” to myself
Learn each interns name
What? We don’t have interns? Then who the hell I have I been yelling at all these weeks?
Stop kissing each of my biceps good night
Eat less people
I currently don’t eat any people so this one should be easy
Lose weight
In my fingers only…they are fat and prevent me from using an iPhone properly
Sport the sweater vest
I need to up my look and be a bit classier, so a sweater vest just might do the trick