There are two things I love more than anything and that’s 1: seeing animals in captivity to remind me of my freedom and 2: putting my slutty lips on them.

Normally I have to travel on the weekends for pro wrestling, however this weekend I had the weekend free. I decided to take advantage of my days off and head to NYC to visit the Bronx Zoo. It became apparent that I could learn a few things from these animals while I was there and then it became even more obvious that if I played my cards right I could kiss some of them too.

Did I get to first base with any zoo animals? A lady never tells, you’ll have to watch and find out.