Dalton Castle Applies For Head Coaching Position At UAlbany
Recently, Coach Bob Ford, the current head coach of the University of Albany’s football team, has announced this is his last year with the Great Danes. With Coach Ford out of the picture, UAlbany is in great need of a solid leader. Well, after seeing a job posting listed on the NCAA Market website, I realized I just might be the perfect guy for the job! So below is the actual application and letter I submitted to the NCAA to apply for the position.
Dear University of Albany,
My name is Dalton Castle and I want to be your football teams new head coach. Not only does the name “Coach Castle” have a great and positive winning ring to it, but I’m also the perfect guy for the job. I may have zero years of football coaching experience but I do have a list of coaching relatable attributes and a giant bag a pizzazz that I bring to the table.
1.) I’ve never coached football before, but I’ve seen every Might Ducks movie and “Remember the Titans.”
2.) I have a bachelors degree in communications from SUNY Brockport which will help me communicate to each hard headed beefy player on the team
3.) To show how in touch I am with today’s technology I invite you to check out my twitter feed @theDALTONcastle
4.) I may have never played organized football but I can decipher the difference between a soccer ball and an American football in 2 minutes or less.
5.) I have a gorgeous head of motivating hair that would inspire any red blooded human to work their hardest.
6.) I have not only mastered but also enjoy the encouraging “butt slap.”
7.) I didn’t ask for these muscles but I have them and can teach each student athlete how to earn their own.
8.) I once threw a football clean over Gore Mountain.
9.) As a professional wrestler I am certain if any of my players get out of hand, slack off, miss a play that I could lay the smack down on them and get them back on track.
Please consider me as your new full time Head Coach for the Great Danes. I’m motivated, qualified and ready to score a bunch of touch downs and a bunch of drunken college cheerleaders! Go team GO!
Coach Dalton Castle