$180,000 a year? And here I am keeping my pants on all week long like a sucker. This Maggie from the University of Maryland makes this much money by working as a stripper part time. She’s attending college as a double major and to ensure she graduates debt-free she takes the train to New York City every other weekend to work at a strip club in Manhattan.

Maggie is a true model of what I strive to be. I want to work once every 14 days and take home enough to afford a bounce house in every room in my home. Sure, I work part time on the weekends as a professional wrestler and that’s a little like being a stripper. But I get hurt doing that and there is zero poles for me to swing on.

I wonder if my income would sky rocket if I were to trade in my deadlift German suplex for a spinning elevated spread eagle twist? On second thought, I might spook the entire audience and end up in a holding cell somewhere. I better stick to what I know, which is tossing dudes on their heads and supporting hard-working dancers like Maggie here.