Maybe it’s a communist thing but these dudes' form is all wrong. I wish this was an international contest because I’d sweep the sticky competition.

This wank-a-doodle-doo contest in China is the first step to erasing the shame I feel one to three times a day. If seven Chinese dudes can glorify their hand to man romance as they stand in a semi circle trying to sticky-pee into a bucket then surely I can glorify what horrible things me and my body do behind closed doors. This may look like a silly contest to most people but when I look at this video I see a sport I can win!