Candy Crush Destroys Lives!

I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs, I drink a little but I am in no way addicted. This stupid Candy Crush game on my phone however, I hate and still cannot put it down! If you have not already downloaded this game and played it, DON'T! It will destroy your life. This thing is more addicting then Honey Boo Boo. Yeah, you can’t stand it, but there’s some strange appeal to it that prevents you from looking away. I find most nights my girlfriend and I lay in bed next to each other, both with our phones in hand playing the game instead of engaging in sex. What has happened to me? I would rather try and bring all the fruit down and clear some jelly then have sex? Why is suddenly getting some make believe unicorn her horn back more important than dipping my horn into the candy that is next to me?

This game seems like a fun idea but it is not! You don’t believe me then play it for yourself. I dare you! I double dare you. No, I triple dog dare you (well now you got to do it)! Download this game and your work productivity will go down. Your friends will lose interest in you because you will find you often forget to shower. You may lose weight (not a bad thing) because now you suddenly forget to eat. Basically this game turns you into a stinky skinny forgetful pothead without all the fun of being high.