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Best Convenience Store Robber Ever [VIDEO]

 

I’m not even sure this was even about money or not. This guy clearly had some other vendetta to cover and he wasn’t going to let anything stand in his way. This guy is truly an example of what to do when robbery is on your to do list. Take note.

Preparation is key: Make sure you spend about 30 – 40 years doing nothing but sitting in a bean bag chair chugging bags of pork rinds day in and day out. This is a robbery and you are going to need your energy.

Uniform: Always wear lose fitting comfortable clothing. Those funny pattern pajama pants that most short order cooks wear will work just fine. You want to be ready for anything and can’t be constricted by ordinary pants.

Identity: Once you have stored all the energy you need in the form of a camel hump positioned on your waist line its time to look for a disguise. Try the waste basket of any ladies room. Usually you can dig out a pair of old soiled pantyhose. Be sure to check for red stains on the inside first. If they are wet from their previous owner, be sure to let them dry out for about 2 hours in the sun.

Be aware of your surroundings: make sure to get a good look at your target. Don’t risk having your vision blurred by wearing your mask (Panty hoe) in front of the camera. You can’t risk not getting a clear look by wasting precious natural light with some soiled pantyhose obstructing your view.

Execution: Now is the time you take a mildly large rock and chuck it at a window. But be careful enough not to throw it too hard, you don’t want the rock to go all the way through. You just want to scare the building a little. After you throw your rock turn around and waddle away like a blubbering elephant seal tripping over everything in your path. You have done well and you point has been made. That will be the last time that window looks at you with the crazy eyes!

Congratulations on a successful robbery!

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