Emerald Catron has written for Asylum, Lemondrop, MyDaily and Daily Fill. She is one half of rap duo Dem Shortybooz and is a comedic performer around NYC. Follow her on Twitter @emeraldcatron
9 Reasons Why Baby Showers Are the Absolute Worst
Wow, congrats on getting pregnant, friend. Can you just spare us and let us mail you some diapers direct from Amazon? Because NOBODY wants to go to your stupid baby shower.
Watch Russell Brand Completely Humiliate Rude Morning Show Hosts
Granted, this all probably took place at four in the morning, but the hosts of 'Morning Joe' are going to have to be sharper than this if they want to stand a chance against Russell Brand.
Baby Poops on Dad, and It’s Hilarious
This is it. This is what the internet has been moving towards ever since it was created. It's a person being pooped on ... by a baby.
Roommates Pull Epic Makeover Prank on Poor Guy’s Bedroom
The one advantage of having super-broke roommates is that they don't have the extra cash to spring on giving your room a pretty, pretty princess makeover while you're overseas travelling. This man did not have that advantage.
Miss Utah Gives Probably the Worst Answer in the History of Pageants
Guys, pageant contestants aren't just pretty faces -- they're also extremely capable of saying things so incoherently stupid that it gives you a headache.
LEGO Makes Awesome ‘Star Wars’ Father’s Day Video
Thanks, LEGO! This is way better than a lame-o Father's Day greeting card. Just email this video to your dad and call it done. Maybe buy him a big piece of meat or something. The end. So much easier than Mother's Day. Happy Father's Day!!
10 Terrible Father’s Day Gifts
We're not here to tell you how to run your life. We're mostly just here to provide you with cute pictures of kittens and GIFs you might like. But, if we could make a suggestion, don't get your dad any of these things for Father's Day.
Robert Downey, Jr. Makes Kid Cry by Not Actually Being Iron Man
We'd probably be upset too, if somebody told us we were going to meet Iron Man, and we actually met Robert Downey, Jr. in a polo shirt ... if we were 18 months old, which is why this kid is crying.
Dog’s Anus Looks Like Man Perceived as Savior to Billions of People on Earth
We're used to Jesus showing up in a cornflake, or a water stain. Maybe a piece of toast. Not so much a dog's butthole. But there he is, assuming he was real and looked the way he's been painted by a bunch of European artists. Right in a dog's backside...
Little Boy Discovers Own Shadow in Adorable Video
We wish we could remember how amazing it felt to learn something as simple as what a shadow is. Instead we're stuck barely being able to remember all of our passwords for internet logins.
Couple Has Wedding in Ikea Where They Met
When we realized we had just bought napkin rings, a bookshelf, batteries and a giant sack of frozen meatballs, we realized you really can get everything at IKEA. Apparently, that even includes a husband.*
The Best Disney Couple Cosplay Is One Guy
Richard Schaefer is doing the cutest Disney cosplay we've seen in a while. He really shows a lot of devotion too -- in addition to making all the costumes, he dresses up as both princesses and their princes. He does a great job too. Check out even more awesome cosplay and costumes on his Tumblr…