Donald Deane has held a variety of jobs, including college English teacher, newspaper reporter/editor, internet project manager, dishwasher and dogcatcher. He now writes exclusively and has contributed to AOL TV and Moviefone among others.
Donald Deane
Drunk Guy Steals Ambulance and Goes for a Joyride and Also Look How Scary His Face Is
In the past, we've told you about the liquored up bar brawler who cried for his mommy and an inebriated Norwegian tourist who passed out on an airport conveyor belt. Now comes an intoxicated man who stole an ambulance in the middle of an emergency call and went for a joyride.
Cat Caught Trying to Smuggle Contraband into Prison
Generally, it's impossible to get cats to do anything on command, let alone smuggle contraband. But a kitty in Brazil was recently detained for attempting to sneak nearly a dozen items into a prison in the northeastern town of Arapiraca.
Unemployed Couple Visits Disneyland Every Day for a Year
While the rest of the unemployed masses dutifully send out resumes, a California couple decided on a different strategy instead and went to Disneyland every day for a year. And what did they get for this achievement? A free night in the Dream Suite, a luxury apartment located in the park's New Orleans Square. Um, congratulations?
Worst Bank Robber Ever Caught While Masturbating on Sidewalk
As any guy knows, the need for, um, release can sometimes be powerful and all-consuming. But there are probably better times to choke the chicken than in the aftermath of a bank robbery. Just sayin'.
Stripper Arrested After Doing ‘Performance Art’ on Busy Highway
There's no doubt that stripping is entertaining, but is it art? A scantily clad woman recently caused a commotion on a busy road in Florida in the name of performance art, but that didn't stop her from getting arrested and charged with battery and criminal mischief.
Sister Accidentally Shoots and Kills Brother While Posing for Facebook Photo
In a tragic example of why guns, alcohol and social media don't mix, a woman accidentally shot and killed her brother while posing for a Facebook photo early in the morning on New Year's Day.
Has Bigfoot Actually Been Captured?
After that hoax out of Russia, we swore we'd never be duped by a faked Bigfoot capture again. But a recent report, which comes from an organization called the Mid-America Bigfoot Research Center, could be the news that Yeti believers have been waiting for.
Naked Samurai Goes on New Year’s Day Rampage
While most of us rang in the new year with a noisemaker and a drink or two, 29-year-old Coco Bennett celebrated by brandishing a samurai sword in front of police. Oh, and he was stark naked too, of course.
Science Offers Explanation for Rudolph’s Red Nose
Have you ever wondered how Rudolph got his red nose? Well, Dutch scientists have finally explained the mystery. Turns out, the reindeer's shiny nose is the direct result of "hyperemia of the nasal mucosa." Way to take all the magic out of Christmas, science.
School Lunch Lady Fired for Giving Free Lunches to Needy Student
Given the time of year, you might think that helping the needy would be encouraged. But that's not what happened when 60-year-old school cafeteria worker Dianne Brame gave free lunches to a student who couldn't afford them. Instead, she was fired.
Did UFOs Appear Over Brooklyn and San Francisco?
We're already convinced that aliens exist, so it's not like we need any further proof. But these clips of identical UFOs hovering in the sky over Brooklyn and San Francisco blew us away. All hail our alien overlords! (The videos are a bit NSFW, by the way, due to some UFO-inspired potty mouth.)
Santa Quits Smoking in New Version of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’
As a role model for kindness and generosity, you can't do much better than Santa. But let's face it -- he's not exactly the picture of health. If the jolly old elf can't bring himself to drop a few pounds, at least he's recently given up smoking.