Picture cartons of juice, condoms, yeast, and god knows what else all displayed on a table. While doing that, think about how awesome (sarcasm) you would feel the next day after getting crunk on what seems like a s--- ton of homemade prison booze. Add in the cost of said products and well: Reminds me of an episode of Trailer Park Boys.
Ever been stuck on a grounded airline flight? Is a 30 minute delay considered, grounded? If yes, then 'yes', I have. Frankly, that seemed like an eternity. What do you do, you know? Twiddle your thumbs? Read the 'how to absorb a water landing/ use a flotation device' laminated cut out? Seriously, what can you do?
Wow, that's a title ehh? Well, that's exactly what happened in Round Lake. Theresa Marchione, a 20 year Round Lake librarian was recently fired after she closed the library an hour early due to Tornado Warnings that had recently riddled the Albany area. But it gets better.
Normally, drunk drivers create accident scenes, and in this case, this one did- kinda. Well, not kinda, more like- here's an accident scene, I'm drunk, might as well stop for it by ramming into it thus creating an accident scene on top of an accident scene. Confused? Let me break it down for you.
I've been on an Alice in Chains kick since the release of The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here. Rightfully so, seeing as the first two singles from the album have hit numbers 1 and 4 on the charts with Hollow and Stone. I guess I'm all excited for August when The Chains make their way to the area.
You're saying to yourself: 'What the fluck is a Crusty demon?' No worries, I have the scoop. The Crusty Demons are daredevil motorcyclists from the United States, Australia, New Zealand and Europe. They're like the Jackass's of today. It's safe to say these guys do dumb things for a living and we watch. We watch like little kids patiently waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve.
Nice country drives are plentiful around these parts. All you really need to do is travel out to the BKW area and you can have your way. Scenery, check! Open space with zero traffic, check! A place to open up your 'whip', check check check!!!
America runs on Dunkin!!! So I ran over to my neighborhood D and D and purchased the all new Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich. See, I'm nursing a hangover and couldn't think of any other way to make it better. Why not indulge in a glazed donut, cut in half, with bacon and egg all wrapped up nice nice?
Spectacular, amazing, beautiful, awesome! Four words that describe how I sound while singing in the shower every morning. Seriously, If I were 50lbs lighter, not balding and roughly 15 years younger I would be the next Justin Beiber.
While most people would complain about the start of another fine work week, at least you didn't wake up next to a non-bangable pop star Sunday morning. Don't get me wrong, I didn't either- Thank heavens for that. Why the topic of non-bangable pop stars? No idea, it's Monday!
Have you invested crazy loot in tissues? Are you tired of waking up in the morning and blowing out large amounts of snot from your nose? Tired of random droplets of snot dripping down your face as you put the moves on a lovely betty? Me too! Might as well burn that crap! The pollen that is.
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