Arm Yourself With Spam

If you're not listening to The Free Beer & Hot Wings Morning Show then you may have missed the latest, greatest, discovery regarding self-defense. A Alabama middle school principle is thinking outside the box but in the can. Free Beer & Hot Wings are not the only ones reporting on this, here is a link from The New York Times.   

If it can work for middle school kids it can work for anyone, you will never be scared again as long as you have that can. It does not have to be Spam, that is my weapon of choice because of the distraction factor. What will a bad guy do if they got hit in the head with a can of Spam?

After they recover from getting nailed in the head, think of the surprise when they find out that they just got Spammed in the head!

It will buy you time to run away or reload. Because at first they will probably think you just hit them with a rock, or a brick, but when they realize it was a can of Spam, it will take them a moment to accept the fact that they just got hit with Spam.

I think that your standard can weapon should be canned Beats. That's obvious.

Cans of Tuna will work for people with bad aim. Just load yourself up with four of five of them and your attacker won't know what hit them and when they do they will cry out "TUNA!"

If you're fighting off a sex offender then you will be fighting them off with irony.

The only down side to this is if your attacker somehow endures the can attack, you bought them dinner.