Okay, boys. This one is just for you. Listen up, cause I'm only gonna say this once.  It's not the size of the dingy. It's the motion of the Mohawk after Irene.

Yeah, I went there. Deal with it.

I'm not going to candy-coat it for you. The reason the phrase “size queen” was coined is because there are people who prefer big members. Not just big, ginormous! But the reality is those people are, more often than not, just plain out of luck. Unless they're comfortable with sex toys.

What am I talking about?

Well, Wikipedia says (and a few studies agree) the average member is between five and six inches erect, and I'll let you in on a little secret. I've encountered smaller. And they were some of the best lovers I've had, second only to M who is above average in length and about average in girth.

I know you're thinking that's just jive. My man might be broken up if I were telling all of the Capital Region that he wasn't the best lover I've ever had, huh? Except we don't work like that. There's no reason for us to work like that. We're honest with each other, and we talk about what we enjoy with each other.

Oddly enough, despite my usual shyness (Shut up, I was shy once.), I've never really had a problem telling M exactly what I want.

Last week, I wrote about the importance of watching porn as a couple. You guys had a few things to say on Facebook, but the comment that struck me the most was the fella who said he only watches porn featuring men with members smaller than his.

I'll admit it. I chuckled. Not in a malicious way, mind. I know that many men truly base their sense of sexual self on the size of their member. And I know us ladies aren't always much help. When I was in high school, one of the biggest memes floating around on voicemail (we didn't have Facebook back then!) was Short Dick Man by 20 Fingers. But it still makes me grin when you guys are so completely honest about it. That's definitely a step in the self-confidence direction.

And fellas? Us girls don't really care what's between your legs as long as you're willing to give our pleasure the old college try.

Treat every sexual encounter like a learning experience. That means if you put your fingers on the wrong side, or gyrates your hips in the wrong direction, we'll tell you. If our tongues don't curl the right way, or we gyrate our hips the wrong way, you'll tell us. And we, as a couple, won't get all butthurt over it. We'l listen, learn and apply it to the next opportunity to pleasure each other.

Life's just easier that way. And as a result, we'll all have lovers catered entirely to our needs. That's what's important.

But let's say you find yourself with a size queen. Well, boys, it happens. You've got a tongue and fingers, haven't you? And the internet's just chock full of sexual aids. There is, without a doubt, more than one way to skin a – ahem – cat. What're you waiting for? Go see for yourself!