Alligator

A Franklin County Woman was caught smuggling tortoises, lizards and alligators across the St. Lawrence River. She used a boat which is silly since all these animals can swim. 

Olivia Terrance, not to be confused with my future girlfriend Olivia Wilde will be sentenced on August 5th. Olivia is a member of the St. Regis Mohawk tribe but that is not her crime. I’m actually not certain it is a crime to be a part of any tribe. Olivia’s crime is trafficking illegal reptiles into Canada. She has been said to have smuggled over $800,000 worth of Tortoises, lizards, chameleons and alligators over international borders in a boat.

For her crimes of transporting reptiles illegally Olivia Terrance could be facing up to 5 years in a federal prison. 5 years? Really? That is absurd, because according to inhumane.org that is about 4.5 years more then she would have got if she had sex with these animals! So if this is correct and Olivia Terrance goes to jail for 2 years or more then that means you official can go to jail for less time for having sex with animals then if you were to move them.

So let this be a lesson to anyone out their considering the smuggling of reptiles. Think before you cross that boarder. If you find yourself about to smuggle an alligator into Canada stop, and have sex with it instead.