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If You’ve Ever Wanted to Pay $91K for a T-Shirt, It’s Your Lucky Day

expensive hermes-shirt
Hermes

You may not look like a million bucks in this new shirt, but you’ll spend almost that much.

Hermes is now selling a shirt for $91,500. No, that’s not a typo. It’s a shirt and it costs $91,500. Still don’t believe it? This should convince you. Amazingly, it’s not the most expensive T-shirt to ever go on sale.

Why would anyone in their right mind pay more for a shirt than they would for a down payment on a house? Is it scientifically proven to help you pick up chicks? Will it cut your lawn on a Sunday when you’re just too tired? Can it strike out left-handed hitters late in the game?

The answer is it’s made with crocodile. That’s it. And the shirt is part of a whole line of chiffon crocodile tees that go for between $60,000 and $100,000 (pity the poor people who can only afford the low-end shirts for 60 grand. It must be embarrassing to be that broke). Hermes is the company that sells basic cotton T-shirts for more than $300, so this would obviously be the next step in the evolution of overpriced attire.

And don’t forget to factor in sales tax, which brings the top to nearly 100 grand. At that price, you could lose your shirt buying one.

Of course, if you’re really intent on getting a shirt with some sort of aquatic representation, you can just pick up some IZOD shirts. They must have low income crocodiles on them because they only go for, like, 13 bucks when they’re on sale.

If you have $91,000 to spend, there are so many better ways to spend your money than by basically announcing to the world that you’re a jerk with a bigger bank account than a jerk who can only afford Ed Hardy. We suggest hiring a thug to beat up anyone smug enough to waste that much money on a freakin’ shirt, invest in Hanes so they can roll out a new ad campaign that explains a $5 T-shirt works just fine, donate it to ANY charity (even ones you don’t believe in) or just save it for something that isn’t as stupid.

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