Halloween is not just the day when all the ladies get to wear skimpy outfits and the guys dress up like women gilt free. Halloween is still the tradition of children dressing up in costumes and ringing every stranger on their block's door bell begging for candy. If you’re like me and hate answering your door for a bunch of free loaders then you will appreciate these 5 helpful tips to avoid people ringing your bell.


#1. Smash your door bell out

Using a 10 lb sledge hammer to ensure efficiency take a swing at your door bell. If trick-or-treaters come to a door that has a giant hole where the door bell button use to be they will become confused and most likely run without looking back.

#2. Leave a note inviting them in attached to your door

If you post a note with some very creepy instructions to the trick-or-treaters they are most likely to skip your home. Write something like “Come on in the candy is in the cellar, help yourself, mmMMmm".

#3. Leave a bowl of apples on the porch next to a receipt for 35 razor blades.

The kids might not be able to do the math but if they have the kind of parents who love them then this might be a house the rest of the neighborhood skips.

#4. Answer your door completely naked

Not many children are going to stick around to except the candy “Naked Guy” is giving out. Also if you do this correctly by answering door while using a novelty back scratchier on yourself some kids may even turn and run forgetting their bag of candy behind. Also the word will get out very fast that your house is “naked guy’s” house and people are sure to stop coming.

#5. Set your house on fire

Sure you may be thinking this is a bit extreme and you can lose your home once it’s a fiery blaze. However, this is just a small price to pay for peace and quiet on Halloween night. Nobody wants to ask the house on fire for candy, the chocolate would be melted for sure!